I HATE BEING CHRONICALLY ILL

Anxiety, Career, Cats, Damn like or damn comment on my damn blog! Thank you., Employment, Fatigue, Happiness, I'd like to sit down please, Insanity, It's not fair, Life is hard, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Sexy foxes, Why aren't I Patti Smith?

September is like January Pt 2 for teachers. And probably some non-teachers as well. Like the first official month of the calendar year, I’m having a ‘dry’ September after a reasonably alcoholic summer. And I’ve made both a mind map and a to-do list. Which proper disrupted my sleep last night with list induced panic. Horror show. Disclosure: one item on aforementioned list is WRITE BLOG POST. So don’t think I’m doing this out of kindness, alright?

The first list item is: PAY MONEY INTO BANK. I’ve put a line through that one. And it’s only 10:17. Go me *rolls eyes*. 

And this is why I HATE BEING CHRONICALLY ILL. 

My walking is all difficult today, so instead of making my way through town looking all ‘together’ like a woman in a sanitary product advert, I weaved all about the pavement, in serious danger of veering into actual traffic, probably presenting as a drunk – which would be fine if I was, in reality, drunk – but I’m at the start of a dry month. And I’ve a new haircut that I alternate between HATING and REALLY QUITE LIKING but this morning it added to my woes by making me look like a DERANGED MANIAC/SMALL BOY/HARASSED HOUSEWIFE IN A KITCHEN SINK DRAMA DIRECTED BY KEN LOACH. 

And. 

Despite my friends saying stuff like, “well, you never really liked being a teacher…” THAT’S NOT THE POINT. Yes, when I could work, I complained incessantly, always boring on about wanting to go part time, BUT NOW, I’m totally envious of my teacher husband/friends starting the 16/17 school year today. IT’S NOT FAIR. Work means colleagues and intellectual stimulation and money. AND NOT FEELING LIKE A TOTAL LOSER BECAUSE YOU DON’T WALK RIGHT AND YOU GET SO TIRED AND NEED A REST AND YOUR WRITING IS TERRIBLE BECAUSE YOU ARE BROKEN. 

So. I feel great. Have a nice day. That’s one more item crossed off. 

END OF POST. 

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Possibly Maybe…Perhaps?

Fatigue, I'd like to sit down please, Life is hard, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Sexy foxes

Hey, man. Let’s talk. I mean, I’ll talk, obviously, and you’ll listen. Because that’s our relationship dynamic, isn’t it?  No need to go rocking the metaphorical boat. Let’s settle into our comfortable groove, tred that well-worn path, commence this post.  

 
Indulge me, if you will, by taking yourself way back in time to Monday. Oh how we laugh at the way things were then: the fashions, the turns of phrase, the hopes and dreams… *wipes tears of mirth from eyes* Are you there? Good. On Monday, dear reader, I was full of the joys of early summer. I had succeeded in successfully shunning Monsieur Fatigue!  


His wiles were not for me. No longer was I separated from the technicolour flurries of life by a gauzy film! I was both human and dancer! I cautiously tweeted my victory! I marked some coursework! Made some gluten and dairy-free brownies! Told my neighbour that I was fine now! Pontificated on which of the anti-fatigue strategems was my best piece of weaponry! A triumphant day indeed. 

O hubris! The downfall of many a story-tale hero. And an equal number of over-confident MSers. Monsieur Fatigue is more artful than I’d given him credit for.  

 Foxier. But not in a sexy way. Damn him!  

 
So, yeah, I’m back to feeling like gravity, in homage to Spinal Tap, has turned itself up to 11. 

Good times! Now get out.