Feeling this amount of tired all the time is making me feel slightly, on the verge of, insanity. Is it even real or a piece of fiction I’ve cunningly manufactured to manipulate people into doing stuff for me? Or allowing me to live the lazy life I’ve always craved?
So. Amantadine: no effect yet. Acupuncture: no effect yet. MitoQ: no effect yet. Spirulina: no effect yet. Etcetera etcetera.
Have you spotted a pattern? Yes? Well done! Nothing fucking works. I’m immune to wakefulness! I’m being a drama queen! Giving into my tendency for hyperbole! Forgive me.
Do I need to just accept that I’m one of the three out of four people with MS that are afflicted by fatigue? Maybe. Or, do I need to accept that I am inherently more suited to leisure than useful activity? Such as weeding, for example.
On days like today, when the sky is clear and blue, and the only sound is a gentle breeze rustling the leaves on the trees, fatigue puts me into an almost dreamlike state. The world seems a little unreal: colours a little brighter; time a little slower; life woozy and liquid. As if I could dissolve right into it.