Acceptance. What do we mean by this? No, no. Hands down. I’m going to give you thirty seconds to write down your own definition.
(You can take the girl out of teaching… )
Where were we?
Once upon an unspecified time, in an unspecified place, an unspecified person said to me (#humblebrag siren!), “I think you’re so brave accepting it, I don’t think I could – I’d have to carry on, you know me...”.
No, I didn’t punch her/him. I did, perhaps a little more forcefully than is usual for me, say, “[Name], it’s not really a question of me ‘deciding’ to ‘accept’ it – I’ve been doing all I can to ignore it up till now”. Or something. Then when I got home, after recounting the exchange to D (as part of the usual lengthy monologue he enjoys, and I dare say looks forward to, each day on arrival home after work), I got angry. Then a bit angrier. And now, pretty furious.
Because accepting MS isn’t a choice you make.
Do you ‘accept’ it the first time you regain acceptable balance after a near plummet into a stranger’s path, after extravagantly tripping over an entirely obstacle free section of pavement, and they respond by throwing quite a questionable look in your direction whilst you attempt to style it out? Or do you ignore it until sections of you start to go entirely numb and you can’t feel your partner’s hand on your leg, or anywhere, anymore? What about when one, or both, of your legs stop following the instructions your brain is trying to send to them and you have to use a stick, or a walking-frame, or a wheelchair?
Would she/he still not accept it? Are they an idiot?
Not accepting something that makes every effort, screams and shouts, to get your attention is like not accepting that you’ve turned up to work naked, and that’s why the boss wants a word. “No, I don’t accept that. I do not accept that I’m naked.” Or not accepting that the world’s round. That night follows day. That 2+2=4.
Because – cue rousing music – what I’m here to tell you is – Night’s Watch, are you with me? – ACCEPTING IS NOT CAPITULATING!
That’s what I should’ve said.