Work and Non-Work.

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This is a tricky one. Employment versus Leisure.  

 

No, not like that! The images are but a visual cue. And, also, Leisure, obviously. Kaiser Chiefs are a joke indie landfill band. IMO. 

Obviously not working due to chronic illness is hardly leisure. 

Full disclosure: I’m not at work at the moment after being signed off for [reason:] fatigue. It’s hard though, especially in the current bastard Tory climate. You start to internalise all their ‘striver/skiver’ rhetoric and wonder where you fit in that black/white, diametrically opposing, thoughtless and cruel piece of shizz. I fucking hate IDS.

Your fidgeting suggests to me that you have a question. What’s that? Speak up, don’t be shy. You’re not usually so reticent. My work ‘journey’? Alright, if you insist. Here goes. 

After my diagnosis, I carried on full time teaching for just over two years before reducing my hours to three days a week – far more manageable. I moved to a new place – where I actually worked under D (not like that, idiot). Feeling pretty confident, I was doing 3.5 days a week and, prior to the BIG relapse, had the intention of increasing to four. Ha. 

Post relapse, the school was fantastic – I returned totally at my own pace and, before I left, was up to two and a half days a week. 

Then I got a new job. Teaching full time. And, being in total denial, thought that when I started my MS would kinda go away, become ignorable.  

All the things that still hadn’t fully returned would come back. 

I feel sorry for my newish colleagues – they thought they were employing a sparky, enthusiastic teacher full of ideas; what they got was an exhausted, emotionally wrecked, in denial mess in need of some serious counselling. Sometimes. I was great for the first half term – before the fatigue hit. 

Oh well. The world continues to turn. Aside: in an episode of QI, the question ‘what would happen if the planet stopping spinning?” was posed and, for the next couple of weeks, I lived in  a state of actual terror of that happening. Insane, right? If it did happen I’d be immediately dead, like everyone else. No worries, then.  

Earth continuing to turn, yesterday.

So, I’ve resigned and as of September – will be UNEMPLOYED. Irk. 

I’m hoping all will be okay; D’s a little panicked but, you know, shit generally works itself out. Am I right? 

I’m planning to do supply teaching for a time and I’m sure that will be an immeasurable joy. But seriously.   

But, seriously.

Teaching is a hard job. The constant press negativity ignited by ridiculous proclamations from Gove and now Morgan do not help in the slightest. Nor does incessant government tinkering. If I was entering the profession now,  well, I probably wouldn’t. That’s not to say that I don’t love being in the classroom – that part’s generally great. It’s the other stuff, the increasing demands of planning, marking (especially if you teach English), admin, analysing data, justifying and providing evidence for every last decision you make. It’s so hard. Especially with the added burden of chronic illness. 

*Exhales.*

But I don’t want to give up on having a career. I’ve got ideas about what I’d like to do…patience my dear friend. All will be revealed in the mists of time. Probs. 

For now, I bid you good day.  

 

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