Hey you! *high fives* Alright? All your stuff as it should be? Anything new you want to tell me? No? Yeah, okay, I’ll get on with it. Hold, as they say, your horses.
I’m getting a bit bored of this relapse. Old relapse #4. With the emphasis on old. So I left you with an image of me laying on a sofa, often weeping and hardly speaking.
Part of being that incapacitated means losing a lot of independence and a fair bit of dignity (“That ship called Dignityyyy“). Being washed, dressed and fed by your Mum or your husband is hard to deal with. I was worried that D would never find me attractive ever again. It’s alright, he did. My Mum got pretty awesome at putting in and taking out my contact lenses for me – I’m hugely shortsighted and much to the disapproval of the optician, don’t have any glasses. Yeah, I know, blah eye infection blah etc.
Remember I mentioned another treatment that only one of my MS nurse’s other patients ever had been given? I can’t remember the name of it – I’ll fill it in when I know. Well I had that. Five days on IV. Luckily, I didn’t have to stay in hospital.
Either during or after this time, I can’t remember now, a physio came over with a walking frame and, at some point, definitely after, I began to feel that I was getting better.
I remember the day I managed to get myself out of bed and walk through to my Mum and Dad’s bedroom (D and I were still there), using the frame/walls/handles/anything fixed. So pleased with myself. And then I could sit up in bed without even leaning on anything. And finally we went home – it was the October half term so D was around in the day for me.
I’ve found some texts between me and my Mum from then. I keep mentioning being shaky – I don’t even remember that.
A few things from that time, the beginning of my long and slow rehabilitation:
- D bought me Morrissey’s autobiography – my vision was starting to improve. I eventually gave up on it. It’s not good. Just sniping over ancient presumed slights. Penguin shouldn’t have published it. It is not a ‘classic.’
- The first phone calls with C and L (voice also returning) were very emotional. They’re excellent people. (I didn’t let anyone apart from my immediate family/medical professionals near me when I was in the middle of it all – I didn’t want anyone to see me like that).
- D and I watched all of Breaking Bad. Obviously.
- My Dad had to give me the Heimlich Maneuver when we went out for lunch and I thought it would be hilarious if I tried to eat a massive piece of chicken in one go. Safe to say, it was not hilarious.
- I was getting round the house using a combination of the frame, anything I could grab on to, and tackling the stairs by shuffling on my bum, often throwing anything I wanted to take with me down first.
I though it was mostly over by November but then I found this text that disproves my recollections:
By okay, I mean I’m getting around the house alright. Not that I’m ready to enter a charity walk. Just to clarify.
Some honesty. I’m not really happy with this post. It’s a bit blah if you know what I mean. Come back again though! Don’t leave me this way! It’ll be better next time. I promise.