Relapse #2

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A sharp pain, like being stabbed in the head with an ice pick. And each time it comes it’s a surprise. I google ‘sharp stabbing pains in head’. Could be a migraine? MS doesn’t even cross my mind. I go to the GP. Could be a viral infection? Come back on Monday if it’s still happening. Take painkillers till then. 

Some more googling. MS comes up in one result. I start to mildly panic. Very mildly. The pain continues. 

D goes away for the weekend, I was supposed to go as well – to visit C – but I cancel. 

Sunday. I can’t walk properly. This is familiar. L calls, I cry. I ring D. I try to be brave but I’m distraught. He’s coming home. 

I know what it is now: a relapse. 

Monday. Sick note signed. I know what’s happening. My body spells it out in big bold sans serif type for me. 

Wednesday. Off to see the MS nurse with my dad. He supports me. Walking is hard now. The nurse prescribes me a course of steroids, pills, not a few days of IV like last time. I am so eager for those tiny red tablets. 

Back home dad buys me a bacon sandwich from our local deli as I settle on the sofa where I wait for the steroids to kick in. 

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